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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468068">Bad Taste</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken'>WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan is Whipped, Cheating, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Lee Felix are Best Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Making Out, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:42:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chan hates his dormmate for this year because:</p><p>1) The guy’s boyfriend is very cute and;<br/>2) Chan has never gotten along well with people who cheat.</p><p>Needless to say, everything is bound to hit the fan at some point.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Han Jisung | Han/Original Male Character(s), Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>304</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. From A Little Spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have nothing fun to say so just enjoy i guess.</p><p>Happy birthday Jisung &lt;3<br/>Sorry for hurting you in this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chan is in his third year of college and like many others, has a dormmate.</p><p>One that never cleans his own shit up, one that gasses the whole place up with sickening axe body spray on a daily basis, one that lives on energy drinks and take-out, one that rarely does his laundry and leaves his socks all over the place for Chan to find like some sad Easter egg hunt…</p><p>One with a very cute boyfriend with pretty eyes and heart-shaped lips.</p><p>The first time Chan had encountered the boy in his own dorm, he had brushed it off as yet another one of Dongmin’s one-night stands. He had admitted that this one wasn’t the type the guy usually went for, but whatever. It wasn’t any of his business so he hadn’t thought much of it, really.  </p><p>But he saw the boy a second time and a third and a forth and when he had asked Dongmin, the guy had deadpanned that the boy was Jisung and that they had been dating for a couple of months now. </p><p>Chan was – and still is – baffled because what is the boy doing with the sleazebag? If there is anyone in this world Chan wouldn’t want a hypothetical sibling to date, it was Dongmin. Not that he knows the guy <i>that</i> well but he knows enough to tell that his dormmate isn’t as loyal as he apparently portraits himself to be.</p><p>Because the walls are far from soundproof.</p><p>Still, it isn’t his business so when he sees Jisung sitting at their kitchen table at eight AM in the morning with obnoxious purple hickeys on his shoulder and neck, he ignores the urge to snap the boy out of whatever illusion Dongmin has created for him.</p><p>Jisung is wearing one of Dongmin’s basketball jerseys. It’s far too large for his small frame – almost slipping off his shoulder and the hem resting somewhere mid-thigh - and Chan also decides that the weird colour of green doesn’t fit the boy. The pastel yellow hoodie Chan owns though, now that would look much better on him. Just a wild idea.</p><p>‘’Good morning Chan hyung,’’ Jisung smiles prettily as Chan trudges to the fridge. He notices the water cooker is still steaming, explaining the smell of strawberry in the little kitchen.</p><p>It reminds him of Dongmin making the promise to Jisung to buy his favourite flavour of tea. Of course the guy never had so maybe it is Chan who keeps the stock never-ending. Jisung still thinks it’s thanks to Dongmin and has thanked him for it multiple time now. Of course Dongmin still pretends like he is a sweet boyfriend like that even though both him and Chan know the guy never even considered buying the boy his strawberry tea. Chan aids though by not even bothering to say something about it. About <i>any</i> of it.</p><p>‘’Did you sleep well?,’’ Jisung asks, thereby pulling Chan out of his stupid thoughts about tea.</p><p>In fact, he has not because like he had said before, <i>the walls are far from soundproof.</i></p><p>He used to be okay with it but there is something about hearing Jisung’s desperate moans in the middle of the night that makes him restless and irritable. Especially when he hears different ones on the nights the boy isn’t staying over.</p><p>Cheating asshole.</p><p>Not wanting to start off his day sour, Chan dismisses the feeling once again and pulls out some milk and two different boxes of cereal, two bowls and two spoons. Chan doesn’t know how Jisung can stomach coco puffs in the morning with how sickening sweet they are. The boy always tells him that Chan is just <i>’weak’</i> and <i>’needs to get on his level’</i>, whatever that even means.  </p><p>Eating breakfast with Jisung has become somewhat of a routine because they had found out rather quickly that they both aren’t gifted in the art of sleeping and honestly, it makes Chan feel a lot less lonely. It’s nice to have a person who just understands without tedious and lengthy explanations.</p><p>That doesn’t mean he feels happy to see the boy’s dark circles and the exhaustion in his shoulders as he’s sits cross-legged on the stool. </p><p>‘’It was okay, could’ve been better,’’ Chan mumbles back, more focussed on making sure he gets the milk-cereal-ratio exactly right because as it turned out, Jisung is picky like that. If only he was more picky with his boyfriends.</p><p>Also, Jisung always looks really kinda extra cute in the morning with his shaggy blonde hair tousled and eyes slightly misted with sleep so it’s really best he has his attention on the task.</p><p>‘’You?,’’</p><p>He hears an amused snort, ‘’What do you think?,’’</p><p>Chan chuckles at that and shakes his head before turning back to Jisung, two full bowls in hand. The boy smiles at him again and reaches out to take his breakfast from Chan, muttering an adorable ‘thanks’ as he sets it down in front of him.</p><p>The older hasn’t even sat down or Jisung changes position and he notices the boy wince and look down under the table. Jisung looks rather shocked and Chan can’t help but sidestep and follow the boy’s line of sight. </p><p>‘’What the fuck?,’’ Chan rushes out when he sees dozens of actual <i>bitemarks</i> and oddly shaped bruises littering the boy’s legs, from his calf all the way up to his inner thigh, ‘’Did Dongmin do this?,’’</p><p>It’s a stupid question because who else but its more about the fact that it looks like the boy has gotten mauled by an animal, something Chan hasn’t seen before. He sets his own bowl on the table and crouches down next to the boy, gently but determined in his moves as he grabs one of Jisung’s ankles and brings his leg closer.</p><p>He frowns at some pretty clear teeth-marks and apparently Jisung’s skin had broken here and there, tiny little scabs forming. It looks like it hurts and he can’t even imagine how it must’ve felt in the moment.</p><p>Chan isn’t one to shame anyone for doing what works for them in bed, but he <i>knows</i> the mere idea of getting hurt makes Jisung uncomfortable – the boy mentioned it once before during their breakfast conversations - so he doubts it’s something the boy is into.</p><p>What the fuck had Dongmin been thinking? He knows the guy is fucked up but this takes the cake.</p><p>‘’It’s nothing hyung, really,’’ Jisung mumbles back as he tries to hide the marks with his hands, simultaneously prying Chan’s fingers away from him, ‘’We just got carried away,’’<br/>
‘’You mean <i>he</i> got carried away,’’ Chan grumbles and retreats back to his spot at the table, not wanting to put Jisung on the spot and turn this into a whole discussion about why the boy shouldn’t be with fucking Dongmin. Chan has a list though, in case he needs it.</p><p>Jisung nods hesitantly and gazes down as he shoves a spoonful of milk and cereal in his mouth. His cheeks puff up and Chan has to stop himself from smiling too much at the sight. Plus, he shouldn’t get distracted so easily.</p><p>‘’And you were okay with that?,’’ Chan tries to sound nonchalant but it’s really difficult when Jisung halts his chewing and his eyes dart around for a couple of seconds like he doesn’t really know how to answer.</p><p>‘’Y-yeah, sure,’’</p><p>Chan sees the boy worrying his lip between his teeth and he just knows that Jisung doesn’t even believe himself. With the new revelation he can also now see that the boy’s eyes are a bit puffy and irritated as if he has cried quite a lot.</p><p>‘’Don’t let him do something like that next time unless you actually want to,’’</p><p>Jisung shrugs and stuffs some more cereal in his mouth. And if the rapid blinking while Jisung chews is an attempt to keep the tears at bay, Chan doesn’t point it out.</p><p>They spend the rest of their breakfast in silence and they finish right when Dongmin steps into the kitchen, sending Chan a dirty glare before sauntering over to Jisung. </p><p>Unfortunately, Chan doesn’t have enough time to escape to prevent himself from witnessing his dormmate manhandling Jisung out of his chair and into his lap. A rather aggressive and messy make out follows and Chan has to close his eyes when he sees Jisung locking up, clearly uncomfortable. </p><p>He rushes through the dishes and tries to tune out muted whimpers and the hands wandering Jisung’s thighs he sees from the corner of his eyes. Chan makes the mistake to make eye contact with Jisung over Dongmin’s shoulder as the latter moves on to place sloppy kisses along the boy’s jaw.</p><p>He doesn’t know what to make of the look in Jisung’s eyes but one thing is clear; Jisung’s pupils are shaking and he looks like he isn’t sure what to do. </p><p>And it’s when Chan throws his bedroom door shut behind him that he realises what bothers him so much about Dongmin and Jisung together and that’s the fact that he can’t stand the idea of those filthy hands on the boy’s beautiful golden skin. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan has a day off and somehow finds himself sprawled all over his couch, some Disney movie playing on the tv. He thinks it’s Cinderella but he isn’t quite sure because he was tired before the movie had even started and has been distracted by the boy sitting on the floor next to him ever since.</p><p>Jisung had told him that he was here to meet up with Dongmin, who was supposed to be home soon, but the latter had cancelled their plans shortly after Chan had let the boy inside. Something with a project for school. </p><p>Chan was – is - sceptical about that.</p><p>Anyways, Jisung had looked strangely relieved and upset at the same time, a very weird mix that Chan didn’t know what to do with. However, he had noticed Jisung’s reluctance to go back to his own dorm and spend the rest of the afternoon alone and so Chan had asked Jisung if he wanted to stay and hang out. A first.</p><p>And that’s where they are now.</p><p>It seems like Jisung hasn’t noticed his blatant staring yet, softly singing along with the songs and overall utterly pulled into the animations on the tv like an obsessed toddler. It’s cute, Chan thinks, but that isn’t something new. </p><p>What <i>is</i> new, is the melancholy he feels while looking at the boy’s sparkly eyes and the way he’s slumped back into the couch. Chan has never really seen Jisung relaxed like that. The boy is either slightly shy when they eat breakfast or has this vague anxious air about him. All of that is far to find though and it makes Chan wonder what Dongmin’s effect is on the boy if the lack of his presence gives him this Jisung.</p><p>Anyways.</p><p>Despite that odd sadness there is also a slowly building tingle stemming from somewhere deep down and a warmth that creeps up his chest when Jisung raises a sweater-paw to flick a stray hair out of his eye.</p><p>Chan has the urge to pull the boy off of the floor and into his arms but he can’t. </p><p>So he’s stuck watching, feeling a mix of hurt and happiness whenever Jisung chuckles or wiggles or does <i>anything</i>. </p><p>The movie drones on and on and at some point Chan does somewhat understand what’s going on. That doesn’t last long though because he feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier and Jisung softly humming along does wonders for his stressed-out brain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Chan wakes up, his legs are tangled with a blanket half-draped over him and with a mop of messy blonde waves near his stomach. It takes him a while to understand the pretty colours of the sunset floating in through the window and why he’s laying on the couch but then he remembers. However, he doesn’t remember the tv being turned off and Jisung sleeping as well, still seated on the floor but his head on the little strip of couch left.</p><p>The glasses that they had used are gone from the little coffee table in front of the tv and the empty bag of crisps is nowhere to be found either so Jisung must’ve cleaned up before sitting back down. The blanket is also something Chan doesn’t remember and his heart skips another beat.</p><p>He contemplates his options but decides it is best to wake Jisung up. Not without giving himself a second or two to reach out and gently run his fingers through the boy’s hair. It’s a first – a highly anticipated one - and Chan is elated to find out that it’s as soft as it looks. </p><p>A couple of seconds turn into half an hour and Chan only realises it when Jisung stirs. He retreats his hand quickly and just in time, it seems. </p><p>‘’Good afternoon Sungie,’’ is what slips out of his mouth as Jisung groggily sits up and rubs his eyes with sweater-clad fists, ‘’Sorry for falling asleep on you,’’</p><p>‘’Hello,’’ the boy mumbles, letting out a yawn before fully turning to look at Chan, ‘’And it’s okay. We both know you need all the sleep you can get,’’</p><p>‘’How come you’re still here though?,’’ Chan smiles, once again reaching out to run his hand through the boy’s hair, ‘’You should’ve just gone home,’’</p><p>‘’I didn’t want to leave without saying bye,’’ Jisung smiles gently, seemingly soaking up the feeling of Chan’s fingers raking through his locks like he’s some kitten getting pats, ‘’And I was too lazy to get up after the movie finished anyways,’’</p><p>Chan knows that is a lie because the remote couldn’t have <i>walked</i> to its usual spot under the tv on its own. That brings a whole set of images to him, of Jisung sitting back down next to him, maybe looking at Chan sleep long enough for the boy to pass out as well.</p><p>Chan had felt his heart skip a beat because of the boy before but it was the first time it did a straight-up summersault. It’s yet another confirmation that he is probably screwed but he ignores it when the sight of Jisung still struggling to wake up properly is so incredibly soft that it almost makes him melt into a little puddle.</p><p> </p><p>They end up talking about the upcoming midterms and Jisung’s best friend slash dormmate slash self-proclaimed twin slash platonic soulmate over dinner – cup ramen, actually – and Chan can’t help but coo when the boy wiggles around enthusiastically, cheeks stuffed to the brim like a little squirrel. </p><p>He wants to reach out and pinch the younger’s cheeks but when he lets go and tries, Jisung pouts and swats his hands away with an offended look on his face. It’s clearly fake because the boy giggles when Chan sulks.</p><p>Overall, the mood is happy and wholesome and Chan feels so much better than he had this morning. It’s a gift Jisung seems to have and he wishes he could have him around all the time. He wishes so hard, especially when their laughing gets interrupted by an annoying ding from the younger’s phone. </p><p>Jisung’s smile gets wiped off his face as Chan sees his eyes dart across the screen. He really wants to know what has suddenly made the boy so gloomy but when Jisung looks up again, the boy shrugs and gives him a dismissive wave.</p><p>‘’Just Dongmin spouting drunk bullshit,’’</p><p>And Chan immediately understands. He hadn’t called Dongmin’s excuse of ditching Jisung for a ‘school project’ nonsense for nothing.</p><p>Jisung doesn’t deserve to be treated this way and it only makes him wish even more, makes him want to show the boy how it’s properly done. </p><p>Despite the sudden drop in mood, it is easy for him to get Jisung to laugh again and god is it a pretty sight. </p><p> </p><p>That night, when Jisung has long gone back to his dorm and when Chan hears Dongmin stumble in with the voice of a stranger chuckling, he makes up his mind.</p><p>If the boy’s own boyfriend isn’t going to show some appreciation and care, Chan will. </p><p>It’s long overdue anyways. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Parties have always been fun for Chan, but right now he isn’t having a whole lot of that fun. Sure, it is great to finally spend some time with his friends after gruelling weeks of tests and massive projects, but it is a small distraction. Even the heavy make-out next to him on the couch his two friends deemed appropriate wasn’t enough to tune into something else. </p><p>His eyes had found Jisung easily in the crowd despite his small stature and it’s all he has been able to focus on ever since. Chan likes to tell himself it is because the boy’s hair is a vibrant midnight blue now, which looks totally gorgeous on him. <i>Hot</i>. Jisung has even swapped out the usual hoodie for a tight-fitting long sleeved shirt that shows off lean muscles and a very small waist Chan hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing before. His jeans are just as tight as his shirt and have very tasteful rips across his thighs. Add the delicate, sparkly jewellery and Chan really can’t tear his eyes away. </p><p>Despite being all dolled-up, the boy seems far from happy to be here. Chan goes as far as to say he looks intimidated and scared as Dongmin drags him around with an arm around his waist, like he’s some sort of trophy he so desperately wants to show off.</p><p>He feels bad for Jisung when yet another shot gets pushed into his hands by one of Dongmin’s basketball friends, followed by a rather harsh slap to his ass. The boy shrinks in on himself even more after that and something in Chan is screaming <i>protect</i>. But he doesn’t exactly know from what or how so he keeps sipping his beer angrily from where he’s sitting on the couch.</p><p>At some point his side gets prodded and he snaps out of it, turning to look at Changbin sitting next to him with a clearly tipsy Minho leaning back into his chest. They both look rather flushed and Chan is pretty sure that Minho didn’t have that hickey on his throat before. </p><p>‘’Stop it,’’ Changbin mumbles under his breath, eyes darting to Jisung before he looks back at Chan, ‘’Don’t do that,’’</p><p>Minho chuckles and repeats the same sentence with a proud look and Chan tries not to vomit when Changbin smiles and presses a soft kiss to the guy’s temple. It is almost cute, the two, if it wasn’t for the fact that Chan wasn’t interested in seeing his friends suck each other’s face. Not right now at least.</p><p>‘’Do what?,’’ he settles on, trying not to roll his eyes when he sees Dongmin pulling Jisung in for a kiss from the corner of his eyes. </p><p>Changbin sighs loudly – earning him a rather uncoordinated pat on his head from Minho – and shakes his head. Okay, maybe that was a bit cute.</p><p>‘’Don’t make me say it. You are a smart boy, you know what I mean,’’ Changbin mumbles with a stern look.</p><p>Minho nods, his head bobbing up and down, ‘’Smart booooy… Chris!,’’</p><p>Okay. So Minho is useless for the rest of the night. Changbin’s problem.</p><p>Anyways, Chan wants to deny the implied accusation but he knows he isn’t going to be able to fool his two closest friends – no matter how intoxicated one of them seems to be – so he isn’t even going to try.</p><p>‘’But just look Bin,’’ Chan almost wines as he nods in Jisung’s direction, ‘’This is not okay,’’</p><p>‘’I know, but it will get really messy if you go and meddle,’’ Changbin sighs, gaze on the guy in his arms as he tightening his hold, ‘’You’re just going to get hurt. In every aspect. Literally. Dongmin will beat the shit out of you. How is that gonna make things any better for Jisung?,’’</p><p>Deep down Chan knows where Changbin is coming from, but he just can’t keep watching as Jisung tries to glue himself to Dongmin with little success like a lost little squirrel. The latter is utterly focussed on his friends and the girl suddenly hanging off of his arm on his right, so much so that he doesn’t notice Jisung gets pushed aside by a random guy.</p><p>He says to hell with it and takes a last swig of his beer before carelessly putting it down on the table. Chan’s on his feet in less than a second and tries to weave his way through the mass of bodies in the apartment, eyes trained on the boy who seems to grow more and more anxious.</p><p>It doesn’t take all that long for him to get there and he doesn’t even bother checking if Dongmin notices his presence before getting a hold of Jisung’s hand. The boy startles in true Jisung-fashion but doesn’t protest as Chan guides him to the door leading to the garden at the back of the house.</p><p>He comes to a stop near the big tree and lets go of the boy’s hand. Or he tries to because as soon as he loosens his hold, Jisung grips on stronger and tugs at his arm. Chan turns around in surprise.</p><p>‘’Hyung? S’up?,’’ Jisung asks, bright smile on his face that seems to grow bigger by the second like he’s really happy to see Chan. He sways a bit on his feet and his cheeks are flushed, something that prompt Chan’s brain to pull up a sound he hears multiple times a week. </p><p>He tells himself to get his mind out of the gutter and throws a small smile back.</p><p>‘’Nothing much,’’ he replies, ‘’Just wanted to know how you are doing and it was a bit loud inside,’’</p><p>It’s a poor excuse but Jisung seems to buy it and nods. There’s a silence Chan isn’t bothered with and Jisung seems content just standing out here in the cold, still holding onto the other’s hand. The whole setting is testing Chan’s patience and he’d really like to kiss that lip-gloss off of Jisung’s lips.</p><p>Chan prides himself in the fact that he never drinks too much and even when he does, he’s able to stay rather level headed. However, tonight seems to be the exception.</p><p>‘’You look very beautiful,’’ Chan smiles, ‘’You always do, but tonight even more. The blue looks good on you,’’ </p><p>He has no right to vomit over his friends being cute when he says shit like that. Chan kinda wants to hide and bash his own head in. It had sounded incredibly flirty in his own ears and what is he thinking?</p><p>Jisung seems startled and Chan is almost sure he weirded the boy out but then smiles back shyly, fumbling with the hem of his shirt, ‘’Thank you. You’re the first one who thinks it looks nice, after Felix of course,’’</p><p>It takes a little but then he remembers that Felix is Jisung’s best friend.</p><p>‘’Dongmin wants me to dye it back to blonde. He likes blonde,’’ Jisung mumbles next as he takes a lock of hair between his fingers and twirls it, ‘’I don’t know. Maybe I’ll keep it a couple of days more though. I really like it,’’</p><p>Just like that, Chan has another reason why Jisung should break up with Dongmin on his list and he really wants to get out of here because he isn’t sure he can keep himself from doing <i>something</i> to his dormmate if he goes in and has to witness even more of his bullshit.</p><p>‘’Do you wanna get out of here?,’’ Chan blurts out before he can stop himself, ‘’I mean-,’’</p><p>‘’Sure,’’ Jisung interrupts enthusiastically, even going as far as jumping on his feet a little before squeezing Chan’s hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They end up getting ice-cream from the convenience store despite the cold night air – Jisung’s request – as they walk to this karaoke place Chan knows. Jisung is rambling on and on about this show he has been watching and how very cliché; Chan has trouble focussing on the boy’s words when all he can see is pretty lips wrapped around that stupid cheap melon ice-cream bar.</p><p>Get your mind out the gutter Chan.</p><p>He manages to do so only after Jisung grabs his hand mid-story, apparently not even aware of his actions because he just continues talking and leaves Chan to freak out by himself. It’s not something he should be freaking out over – he’s a god damn adult and this is the second time this night – but he still does because he only now notices how warm and soft Jisung’s hand is, how well it seems to fit into his.</p><p>Chan also finds out that Jisung is a great singer shortly after getting into the karaoke room and he is sure to let the boy know, even if the younger wines at him and tells him to stop. It’s really adorable how Jisung puffs up his cheeks in embarrassment and how can Chan not poke them?</p><p>That only makes Jisung whine even more and Chan gets told that <i>’’Only people with special permission are allowed to poke the jeekies,’’</i></p><p>Chan is delighted to find out that Dongmin isn’t allowed shortly after Chan does get permission.</p><p>Anyways, fast forward two hours and they have sunken down into the crappy couch in the room. Chan feels a little sweaty and he is sure Jisung does too because the boy sports a serious sheen on his forehead and actually gulps down half a can of beer before turning to sit sideways facing Chan.</p><p>The cheap disco lights dance around the room and occasionally drift across Jisung’s face. It’s pretty and Chan wishes he had a good camera on hand to capture it but he doesn’t even <i>own</i> a good camera so there goes that dream.</p><p>‘’You are very beautiful,’’ Chan blurts out without thinking and he lifts his head off the couch, reaching out to trace the line the light had followed over the boy’s face. He finds that Jisung’s skin is soft and slightly damp like he expected. His face is also blazing hot and Chan eyes the empty cans on the table and realises the boy is probably well on his way to being drunk.</p><p>Jisung lets Chan touch his face and just scrunches up his nose when Chan’s fingers trace his jaw.</p><p>‘’You said that already,’’ Jisung then giggles, fingers tapping against the can of beer in his hand, ‘’Can’t you do better than that?,’’</p><p>The crappy rendition of the song’s original beat plays in the background but Chan still recognizes it as a foreign R&amp;B song, something vaguely sensual about the bass. </p><p>He doesn’t know how it happens but somehow Jisung ends up glued to his side, his head leaning to the side on the back of the couch and blinking up at Chan. The older notices their faces are really fucking close together, something that makes him reach out and cup the boy’s cheek. </p><p>Jisung leans into the touch with a rather dopy smile and Chan’s heart aches when the grin slips of the boy’s face, eyes obviously drifting to Chan’s lips.</p><p>Surprisingly it’s Jisung who moves first and connects their lips, lingering for a short second before suddenly moving and climbing onto Chan’s lap before the older can even blink. It all goes so fast that Chan’s brain can’t catch up with the frantic movement of their lips or the sound of a can hitting the floor or the fingers clamping down on his hair when his hands find the boy’s hips.</p><p>He finds that Jisung’s lips taste like strawberry and he isn’t surprised that the boy’s lip-gloss is flavoured that way; Jisung really is obsessed with the red fruit and Chan thinks he’s well on his way too.</p><p>Chan wants, so <i>so</i> bad, and he doesn’t even feel bad about it when he slips his hands under the boy’s shirt. His mind vaguely reminds him of Dongmin but for some reason it spurs him on even more as he maps out the boy’s torso. Jisung’s skin is warm – almost blazing hot – and it feels amazing against his cold hands. </p><p>Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.</p><p>But then the boy rolls his hips and lets out a whimper from the back of his throat and Chan remembers that Jisung doesn’t know what Chan knows. Jisung doesn’t know that what they are currently doing is nothing compared to what his boyfriend has been up to for months. </p><p>And if Chan doesn’t cut this off soon, Jisung will end up feeling horrible because he <i>cheated</i> on Dongmin. Chan doesn’t want to be the reason for that. Still, he can’t help it and his hands wander to Jisung’s back before sliding down, slipping into the boy’s back pockets to aid the roll of Jisung’s hips.</p><p>It earns him another muted whine as Jisung disconnects their lips and attacks the older’s neck instead, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses as he goes from Chan’s neck to his ear. The latter decides this has gone on for long enough when a hand creeps down, getting dangerously close to his crotch. </p><p>Chan catches the boy’s wrists and manages to push him back a little despite every fibre in his body begging him to do the complete opposite. He <i>wants</i>, but it won’t bring anything good in the long run. </p><p>They stare at each other for what feels like ages and then Jisung suddenly turns into a giggly mess in Chan’s lap, freeing his wrists from the older’s gentle grasp and hiding his face in his hands. Even though it is cute, Chan doesn’t think there is anything <i>funny</i> about the current situation. </p><p>This is a problem.</p><p>Jisung stops giggling after god knows how long and comes out of hiding again, his cheeks now even more flushed than before and eyes sparkling in a way Chan has never seen before. </p><p>‘’You are very beautiful,’’ he mumbles for the third time this evening and Jisung bursts out laughing, throwing himself off of Chan and ending up laying on the couch next to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Things continue like that for a couple more weeks, with Chan and Jisung hanging out occasionally whenever Dongmin isn’t around. It seems they have unanimously decided not to bring up whatever had happened and Chan is relieved that Jisung doesn’t seem to be very bothered or embarrassed. But maybe Jisung just doesn’t remember. Chan doesn’t know.</p><p>Chan’s life continues its routine and he almost forgets that he’s still struggling with a huge dilemma, one he had not been thinking about a lot the last few weeks. But when he bumps into a very naked Cho-hee from the sports major one morning, just a couple of hours after he had seen Jisung leave, he just snaps.</p><p>‘’How can you keep doing this?,’’ Chan asks as he storms into his dormmate’s room right after the girl left, clenching his fists because he’s getting really worked up, ‘’Do you not feel any guilt at all?,’’</p><p>The guy scrambles to wrap his blanket around himself before turning back to Chan, ‘’What the fuck dude! Knock next time, you nerd!,’’</p><p>Chan doesn’t see dancing around why he stormed in here in the first place, ‘’Stop bringing over random people, you have a fucking boyfriend!,’’</p><p>Dongmin doesn’t seem impressed and just shrugs his shoulders, casually plucking a t-shirt from the floor and pulling it on.</p><p>‘’It’s cool. Jisung knows how popular I am and there’s nothing wrong with some fun on the side,’’ Dongmin tries to justify. Pathetic. </p><p>‘’Oh, so it is totally fine if I go over and tell Jisung?,’’ he challenges and Dongmin’s response is almost instant.</p><p>‘’No!,’’</p><p>His dormmate is on his feet in a second and standing in front of Chan, looking somewhat scared like he genuinly cares.</p><p>‘’Then get your shit together Dongmin, I mean it. I can’t keep pretending not to know and lie to Jisung’s face,’’ </p><p>That seems to piss the guy off.</p><p>‘’Mind your business, <i>Christopher</i>,’’ Dongmin hisses as he prods his finger in Chan’s chest, ‘’You’re just petty because I have game and you don’t,’’</p><p>Chan couldn’t care any less about ‘having game’ right now and the stupid attempt to deflect is riling him up even more.</p><p>‘’You are so childish, you know that? You just do whatever the fuck you want without even spending one second thinking about others,’’ Chan spits out, digging his fingernails into his palms, ‘’Think about Jisung! The boy has endless trust in you and you just go sleeping around with anyone willing as soon as Jisung steps out of this apartment. He doesn’t deserve that. You are lucky such a sweet and kind boy even agreed to date your disgusting ass and you don’t even <i>try</i>,’’</p><p>Chan knows his face is bright red from anger and that he really needs to go take a breather if he doesn’t want this to get even worse. Still, he can’t retreat now that he has let the first sliver of control go. </p><p>‘’Oh I get it,’ Dongmin deadpans after a long stretch of silence, eyes narrowing and a sleazy smirk making its way onto his face as he takes a couple of steps back, ‘’You’re jealous, aren’t you? You’re upset you can’t have Jisung,’’</p><p>There is another wave of rage, pushing against his skin as if it wants nothing more but escape. Chan is aware of his haggard breathing and its so difficult to hold onto the last straw. He knows Dongmin is right and it doesn’t help in the slightest.</p><p>‘’What are you talking about?,’’ he manages to grit out.</p><p>Dongmin laughs tauntingly and shrugs, ‘’I’m not dumb. I see the way you look at him from time to time, like a wolf ready to attack. Can’t blame you though, he’s so tight that it almost hurts you know? He also cries a lot but he looks extra pretty like that,’’</p><p>And Chan just <i>snaps</i>.</p><p>He never gets angry but right now he can’t stop himself from taking those couple steps to close the gap and swing his fist into the guy’s face. There is a yell and pain flaring up in his knuckles but there is something really satisfying about it, especially when he gets a second hit in.</p><p>‘’Fuck you!,’ Chan spits, ‘’You will rot in hell and I won’t hesitate to make sure you make it there early if you don’t stop treating him this way. Either stop it or stop leading him on and let him go,’’</p><p>Dongmin just grunts and mutters a ‘fuck you’ as he holds onto his nose. It’s very satisfying and Chan almost decks him again just because he can, but he decides that he has already gotten his point across.</p><p>He’s shaking as he storms out of the guy’s room, slamming the door behind him before he freezes in the tiny hallway. It is eerily silent and all Chan can hear is his own haggard breathing and the blood rushing through his ears and he knows he needs to calm the fuck down. </p><p>Another wave of sharp pain flares up and surprisingly enough, it helps him focus on something else. </p><p>He doesn’t know how long he has been standing there until he hears the door open and footsteps hastily coming closer. Jisung comes around the corner and steps on the breaks.<br/>
‘’Hyung?,’’</p><p>Chan manages to shake his head and motions for the boy to be silent. He’s still pretty high-strung and he doesn’t want to risk snapping at Jisung for reasons the boy can’t do anything about.</p><p>Then there is a loud whine coming from Dongmin’s room and Jisung stalks passed Chan, throwing him a confused and concerned look before slipping inside. He can hear the gasp through the door and hurried footsteps follow.</p><p>‘’<i>Jisungie, baby,</i>’’ Chan hears Dongmin almost wail through the door, ‘’<i>I missed you so much. Look, look at what he did to me!</i>,’’</p><p>Chan can’t stomach hearing more and he almost beelines to the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists despite the searing pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘’You really fucked up his nose,’’</p><p>Chan turns around from where he has been staring into his coffee on the kitchen counter and Jisung is just standing there in the door opening, arms hanging next to his sides. The boy looks defeated and upset at the same time.</p><p>‘’I’m disappointed hyung,’’ the boy whispers out, eyes downcast, ‘’I never thought you were like this, that you were better than that,’’</p><p>There is a heavy silence and Chan doesn’t know what is wise. He doesn’t know if it would do any good to try and defend his actions, not when it means telling the boy what Dongmin has been up to and breaking his heart. </p><p>He knows he should, but it is so difficult when he knows that it will hurt.</p><p>Something in Jisung’s eyes beg the older to tell him something to make him understand and really, Chan can’t keep it in anymore. It’s been weeks and weeks of the same shit and the fury is still prickling his skin. Right then and there he makes a decision, one he should've made ages ago.</p><p>‘’Twenty-three,’’ </p><p>His voice is steady but he hears the exhaustion and disgust himself. </p><p>Jisung blinks at him and frowns, clearly not knowing what Chan is trying to say.</p><p>‘’He has slept with twenty-three different people even since you started dating him,’’ Chan elaborates hesitantly, ‘’And that’s only those I am aware of, those he brought home,’’</p><p>There is a silence that lasts for an eternity to Chan and somehow it goes in slow motion, something that enables him to see just about every emotion flash through the younger’s eyes until it settles on an intense sadness.</p><p>‘’Why are you lying?,’’ Jisung then whispers to him, eyes welling up, ‘’If that was true you would’ve told me, way earlier,’’</p><p>Chan can understand that logic and that same feeling of guilt and stress is back. Its an mix that has been aiding his insomnia a lot lately.</p><p>‘’I’m sorry Jisung, I really am. I know I should’ve told you earlier but I just couldn’t,’’</p><p>Jisung shakes his head, ‘’I don’t believe you. Why should I believe you? For all I know, you are just saying that to get to Dongmin. I’m not dumb. You don’t even remotely like him,’’<br/>
Chan scoffs, ‘’It goes both ways,’’</p><p>‘’No Chan,’’ Jisung almost yells, ‘’It’s <i>you</i>. Dongmin tries so hard to get along with you but you don’t let him. Do you have any idea how much it hurts him that you never want to hang out when asks? Do you know how upset he gets?! Why can’t you guys get along? I really don’t get it. You guys are both very nice,’’</p><p>Dongmin isn’t nice and Chan is baffled because not <i>once</i> has his dormmate asked to hang out. Right off the bat the guy had been nothing but a condescending jerk so he doesn’t get how Jisung can think otherwise.</p><p>‘’How in heavens name did you get that idea?,’’ Chan retorts angrily, finally setting his mug back down on the counter, ‘’Dongmin has always been an asshole. He has never asked to hang out. Jisung, I think you really don’t know how Dongmin really is,’’</p><p>Jisung frowns and for a second he looks confused, has been told two different things and can’t figure what to believe. Then his eyes well up even more and a couple of tears slip out of his eyes, down his cheeks and gathering under his chin. </p><p>‘’First you beat my boyfriend up, then you dare say he cheats on me and now this?,’’ Jisung replies, angrily wiping away his tears with trembling fingers, ‘’What is wrong with you? Why do you keep lying to me? I thought that we were at least friends,’’</p><p>It hurts, for multiple different reasons. It doesn’t matter what those are because it’s not going to make Chan feel better, </p><p>‘’And to think I…’’ Jisung shakes his head and tilts his head up, blinking furiously again. Somehow he looks even sadder than before and it makes Chan feel really bad despite this burning fury in the pit of his stomach, ‘’Never mind. Thank you for making the choice easy,’’</p><p>Chan doesn’t even have the time to get another word in before Jisung turns back around. Not even two seconds later he hears the front door close and he has to grip the counter to prevent himself from flinging his mug at the wall.</p><p>That went as bad as he had expected this conversation would go but that still doesn’t make him feel less upset. Especially not when he realises that Dongmin has even gone as far as to twist the truth to make himself look better. </p><p>God knows what else he tells Jisung.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s eight AM and Chan is sitting at the tiny kitchen table on his own, pushing the little honey loops around the sea of milk in his bowl. His knuckles are still sore and raw and the movement doesn’t help with the pain but who cares. He hasn’t slept more than eight hours over the last week - <i>combined</i> - and even though it’s how it has been for a long time, he had gotten used to feel at least some of the exhaustion seep away with the help of gentle smiles and a soft voice greeting him in the morning.</p><p>But it seems that it won’t be happening again. Because even though he knows the boy is technically still around as much as before – those godforsaken walls – he hasn’t even seen him come or go. </p><p>It is safe to say that Jisung is doing his best to avoid him and it makes him feel so incredibly lonely. Chan has a lot of friends and he loves each and every one of them dearly, but none of them make him feel quite as light and warm as the boy with sun-kissed skin.</p><p>He heaves himself up as he decides he isn’t going to be able to push the rest of his breakfast down his throat, the usual sweetness somehow bitter on his tongue. He dumps his half-empty bowl on the counter without even bothering to clean up after himself. </p><p>The rest of his day passes slowly, the time dragging on as Chan goes from lecture to lecture. Changbin questions him during lunch and Minho gives him a sympathetic sigh after Chan tells them everything that had gone down.</p><p>‘’I told you this wouldn’t go well,’’ Changbin nags, still glaring as Minho stuffs some food into his mouth.</p><p>‘’What are you going to do now hyung?,’’ Minho asks as he turns to look at him, ‘’It’s only been a week and you already look even more exhausted than normal. This is wearing you down,’’</p><p>Chan hums because of course he knows that already, but Jisung has blocked him and he hasn’t seen the boy around. </p><p>‘’Did you at least apologize?,’’ Minho asks.</p><p>Chan pushes around his rice ‘’No, I haven’t seen him. Jisung is completely avoiding me,’’</p><p>‘’I wasn’t talking about Jisung,’’ Minho deadpans, ‘’Dongmin. Did you apologize to him?,’’</p><p>The mere idea of doing so makes Chan want to puke and he doesn’t understand why the fuck he would apologize to the asshole, ‘’No, what the hell Minho. I thought you were on our side?,’’</p><p>Chan knows he’s normally more rational and understanding but all that has gone out the window. Dongmin crossed the line too many times for Chan to treat him with at least a little respect.</p><p>Minho shrugs, ‘’Of course I am but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to beat people up, no matter how much they deserve it,’’</p><p>‘’Your boyfriend is crazy Bin,’’ Chan mutters.</p><p>Changbin just grins, ‘’I know. But he’s also right,’’</p><p>‘’I’m always right,’’ Minho smirks and soon the couple is in their own world again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan knows Minho is right, but he can’t find himself to actually do the ‘right’ thing for once.</p><p>Dongmin can go choke for all he cares.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Into A Flame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Patrick Watson -  Je te laisserai des mots</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s another week until Chan finally catches a glimpse of Jisung. Nothing more than his back as he slips into Dongmin’s room but it seems his heart doesn’t care and skips a beat just because it can. Ridiculous, really, because he hadn’t even had a chance in the first place. Add in their fight and Chan is sure that really had been the end of it.</p><p>However, he keeps his ears open as he does some reading for classes that afternoon in hopes of hearing his dormmate’s door creak open again. He doesn’t have a plan but step one is catching Jisung before he manages to slip away.</p><p>Maybe not the best idea because just when he gets to the next chapter, a muted whimper finds his ears and his body locks up. It’s all-too familiar. It’s a sound that is easy to identify and the prospect of what’s to come makes his blood rush through his veins for multiple reasons.</p><p>He tries to focus on the words and not what’s happening down south or the building anger but it gets more and more difficult the louder the whimpers get until they turn into loud moans. </p><p>The image his brain provides him pisses him off, turns him on and hurts all at the same time. He tries to block it all out by switching his headphones to his noise-cancelling ones but they are old and deteriorated and suck at their job to keep the noise out. </p><p>The only option Chan sees is leaving and so he does, throwing his laptop and headphones in his bag before slipping out of his room. </p><p>As he closes his door, he hears a loud and steady thumping against a wall, more airy moans and some disgusting grunting and he <i>bolts</i>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s hours later when Chan trudges back to his dorm, the sky already dark and his head hurting from spending so much time in one of the studios their campus has. He’s tired, hungry and frustrated by the lack of progress he has made. It’s disappointing how bad he is at keeping his mind from drifting off to a certain boy.</p><p>He eyes his watch as he gets into the elevator and concludes that it really should be fine to step back into his dorm. It makes him sad to realise that Jisung has probably left already – Chan knows the boy usually works on Thursday evenings, same as Dongmin – and that he hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him.</p><p>But when Chan tries to unlock the door, he finds that it already is and he steps in, cursing Dongmin in his head as if he doesn’t do that on a daily basis. The guy has ‘forgotten’ to lock the door on a couple of occasions now and Chan swears they are gonna get robbed any day now.</p><p>However, despite Dongmin’s wish-washy attitude in regards to getting his possessions stolen, he always makes sure the lights are turned off. They aren’t and Chan steps out of his shoes as he closes the door softly. He doesn’t know what’s going on but in case there really is a burglar, he doesn’t want to give away they’re on their way to getting caught red-handed.</p><p>Needless to say, Chan makes sure to have his phone unlocked and ready to go as he carefully sneaks into the dorm.</p><p>There’s a sound coming from the kitchen but it’s not loud enough for it to be someone throwing stuff about in an attempt to find anything of real value and when he dares to peek around the corner, he sees that there is indeed someone in the kitchen but it definitely isn’t someone trying to rob the place.</p><p>Jisung is standing there, muttering something under his breath as he fishes the little bag of tea out of a mug. Chan feels his muscles relax in relief but it doesn’t last long.</p><p>The boy is once again dressed in Dongmin’s jersey and it annoys Chan more than ever. But before he lets that get to him, he notices Jisung leaning on the counter heavily and bruises shaped like fingerprints on his upper arm. It makes him do a quick scan and he feels his heart drop when he spots even more bruises, the ones on his knees standing out.</p><p>‘’Jisung?,’’ Chan hesitantly calls, voice almost soft enough to be called a whisper.</p><p>The boy lets out a startled yelp and whips around, almost stumbling but catching himself on the counter again before he can. Chan wants to be happy that the boy is in front of him again and that there isn’t really an opportunity for him to run away, but the excitement quickly morphs into shock.</p><p>Jisung’s face sports an odd looking bruise on his jaw and his lip is split and combined with the rest Chan had already spotted, it’s more than enough to make the older drop his bag – sorry laptop -  as he stalks over and takes the boy’s face in his hands. The violent flinch and widening eyes he earns by doing that go almost unnoticed as he gently tilts Jisung’s head from side to side.</p><p>‘’What happened?,’’ Chan rushes out, overcome with worry, ‘’Who did this?,’’</p><p>Chan isn’t an expert on wounds but he can easily tell those aren’t all that old. He would even go as far as to say it looks like Jisung had just gotten those. From this close up he spots more little oddities, ones that look almost healed; a scratch hidden in his eyebrow, a weird yellowish spot on his forehead and even a tiny scar on his cheekbone. It makes him freeze because it could only mean one thing.</p><p>‘’It’s none of your concern,’’ Jisung hisses before taking a hold of Chan’s wrists and harshly tugging his hands away from him.</p><p>Despite the rather hostile vibe coming from the younger, his pupils are shaking in a way Chan has come to understand pretty well. He’s clearly scared, anxious, a look Chan only ever associates with Dongmin.</p><p>It finally sets in his brain that the boy’s own ‘boyfriend’ did this to him. Not only does Dongmin cheat whenever he can, he has now gone as far as physically hurting Jisung.<br/>
That’s not love. It’s not love in the slightest.</p><p>‘’You <i>have</i> to break up with him Jisung, this is getting insane,’’ Chan whispers, ‘’This really isn’t okay,’’</p><p>‘’Who are you to tell me what to do?,’’ Jisung spits back, trying to push Chan away with little success, ‘’I’m perfectly fine,’’</p><p>The tears gathering at the corners of the Jisung’s eyes tell him differently so he carefully reaches out to take the boy’s hand in his. The simple gesture seems to make Jisung switch demeanour and instead of pushing Chan away, Jisung lets him and his lip starts wobbling.</p><p>‘’How many times?,’’ Chan asks, dreading the answer, ‘’How many times has he done this?,’’</p><p>There is a tension Chan can practically <i>taste</i> on his tongue and it’s gross. He tries to swallow it away but it stays when Jisung evades his eyes and bites his lip.</p><p>‘’He didn’t do it on purpose,’’ the boy mumbles and there is the rapid blinking again, ‘’He was really sorry, I swear,’’</p><p>Chan subconsciously grips Jisung’s hands harder, ‘’That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter if he did it on purpose or not. Jisung, open your fucking eyes!,’’ </p><p>The younger flinches yet again and shrinks in on himself, the first tears spilling over as he looks at Chan with wide eyes.</p><p>‘’I’m sorry. Please don’t yell,’’</p><p>And Chan feels his heart break a little because he has never heard Jisung sound so timid. What the fuck has happened over the last few weeks?</p><p>He tries to give the boy a sympathetic smile and takes his other hand as well, running his thumb over Jisung’s knuckles, ‘’I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to,’’</p><p>Jisung stays unblinking for a couple of seconds more but then nods hesitantly, more tears spilling over as he sniffles. Chan thinks that maybe now is not the time to try and convince Jisung. The boy looks exhausted and on edge at the same time and the last thing Chan wants is to make it worse.</p><p>So with that he lets go of one of the boy’s hands and reached passed him to get the mug, making sure not to spill any of the boiling hot water as he picks it up. Jisung looks a bit confused but doesn’t say anything as Chan gently drags him out of the kitchen. </p><p>Jisung only tenses again when they get closer to Dongmin’s room but Chan luckily catches up on it and makes sure to pass it quickly. They reach Chan’s room soon and he gently tugs the boy inside. There is surprisingly little resistance throughout it all and the boy lets Chan push him into the spinning chair at his desk.</p><p>The older places the mug in Jisung’s hands and falls onto his bed.</p><p>There is a long silence, Chan sitting on his bed and looking at Jisung as the boy spins a little in the chair and blows the steaming hot tea. He’s still sniffling but the tears have stopped. It’s a good thing. What isn’t a good thing is that it’s a first that Chan doesn’t know what to say. Not really. Not without starting another fight.</p><p>He mauls and mauls but then he sits up a bit straighter.</p><p>‘’Please break up with him,’’ he finally breaks the silence, ‘’He can and should get arrested for this,’’</p><p>Jisung tenses and even goes as far as to stop his spinning, a deep frown on his face like he hadn’t even thought too much of it. But then the boy’s eyes harden and he shrugs.</p><p>‘’Just…,’’ Chan hesitantly mumbles, ‘’Promise me you’ll think about it, hm?,’’</p><p>Jisung looks at him from the rim of his mug for a couple of seconds before he eyes his tea again and nods, ‘’I promise,’’</p><p> </p><p>Chan decides not to count on said promise too much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It seems like that was a good choice because a few mornings later, when he brings it up, Jisung is wearing golden earrings and tries to change topic. Chan knows how to stay calm but when Jisung quietly mentions that Dongmin is taking him on a trip the coming weekend he can’t help but let his spoon drop into his bowl.</p><p>He tries to ignore the nervous fiddling and the shaky pupils that follow his every move as he lets out a heavy sigh through his nose before he gets up. He almost throws his bowl in the sink but manages to keep himself from doing so.</p><p>‘’Hyung?,’’ </p><p>Once again he keeps his mouth shut and focusses on finding the dish soap in the cabinet under the sink. There’s a lot of junk in there but he finds it soon enough.</p><p>Right as he closes the cabinet, he hears Jisung getting up as well and soft footsteps coming closer. There is a little tug on his shirt but he ignores it as he turns on the tab, lathering the bowl with soap. He doesn’t have the patience today to wait for the water turn warm and so washes his bowl with cold water.</p><p>‘’A-are you mad at me?,’’ Jisung stumbles over his words, tugging a little harder, ‘’Hey?,’’</p><p>Chan likes to think he isn’t mad, but he is. At Jisung. How can someone do this to themselves? How difficult can it be?</p><p>It’s so fucking simple. Just break up and walk away. Problem solved. </p><p>A little voice in his head tells him that he’s downplaying the situation, that he’s disregarding any and all mental fuckery involved. But Chan is no psychologist so he just doesn’t understand Jisung. In turn, it’s easy to turn his current anger at the boy.</p><p>And no, of course it isn’t fair because Dongmin is the root of all the problems but his dormmate isn’t here.</p><p>Jisung is here, still tugging at his shirt while calling his name like a little toddler scared of getting yelled at. </p><p>Chan doesn’t want to yell at Jisung so when he finishes his very hasty washing, he turns off the tab and almost throws his bowl on the drying rack. It is easy to escape Jisung, especially when the boy takes a hurried step backwards when Chan turns around and walks out of the kitchen.</p><p>He thinks he hears a shaky exhale and sniffling soon after, followed by a very muted sob.</p><p> </p><p>Good job Chan. </p><p> </p><p>Now he’s made Jisung cry again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Again, they don’t speak for a long while but this time it’s because of Chan. This time it’s the older avoiding Jisung, spending most of his waking time – which is a lot – somewhere that isn’t his dorm. He’s either at the studio or the library or at Changbin’s place, third-wheeling like a pro most of the time. He only comes back to sleep, mostly, but not even every night. Because sometimes he spots Jisung’s shoes at the door and spins right back around to crash at Changbin or Minho’s place. Chan becomes so good at evading Jisung that he starts coming back to his dorm little by little, testing out the waters. </p><p>Chan knows he’s being childish, that his anger is completely misplaced but honestly, he’s getting sick and tired of all of it. Sure, he misses Jisung and sometimes daydreams about seeing him laugh or kissing him again but it’s too much. </p><p>Everything is complicated and confusing and Chan just wants one good night of sleep but apparently that’s still too much. </p><p>So things continue like that for a while and before he knows it, it’s almost the end of the schoolyear and he’s stuck in books and missed lectures he has to re-watch. A gruelling task when his head isn’t all there but Minho has helped him out a lot, organisation-wise, and Changbin provides the forced breaks every now and then.</p><p> </p><p>The big breakthrough comes when Chan least expects it to, right in the middle of finals.</p><p> </p><p>He is working on tweaking a song for one of his exams one evening when he suddenly hears screaming coming through his headphones. At first he thinks he had accidentally added a sound effect he hadn’t meant to add, but then it gets progressively louder and louder and just when he slides his headphones off, he can point out that it’s definitely <i>not</i> coming from his headphones. </p><p>Things are silent again but Chan keeps quiet anyways and it’s a couple of seconds later that he hears his dormmate yell something he can’t decipher. Quickly Jisung’s yelling follows and Chan doesn’t think twice about putting his headphones on his desk and sneaks to his door. </p><p>He opens it silently just when he hears something like a slap and he freezes, eyes trained on the open door diagonally from him. He can’t look inside from this angle and he slowly steps out, unsure of what to do.</p><p>‘’You bitch!,’’ he hears Dongmin bellow, ‘’How dare you?!,’’</p><p>‘’How dare <i>I</i>?,’’ Jisung basically screeches back and even though Chan can’t see him, he can tell he’s trying not to cry, ‘’How dare <i>you</i>?!,’’</p><p>Chan inches closer and he finds himself standing in the doorway, looking at Dongmin’s back. It obstructs his view of Jisung. They haven’t noticed Chan standing in the doorway yet and he doesn’t know whether to meddle or not because he doesn’t want to make things worse than they already seem to be. Plus, he had been doing a really good job of evading Jisung.</p><p>‘’Get over it, it’s not that big of a deal!,’’ Dongmin retorts and it earns him a harsh shove in the chest from Jisung. It doesn’t seem to do much to the taller but make him even more pissed than he already is.</p><p>‘’Easy for you to say, cheater. Fuck you!,’’</p><p>Aha.</p><p>There it is.</p><p>Before Chan can even do something, Dongmin stalks forward with large strides and Jisung lets out a scared yelp when the guy lifts his arm and brings it down, slapping the boy hard enough to send him to the floor.</p><p>It’s Chan’s cue and he wastes no time rushing in, stepping between the two as he tries not to feel too upset at the sight of Jisung sitting on the floor with wide, scared eyes and cheek already turning a bright red.</p><p>He has no time for that right now and turns his attention to Dongmin, harshly shoving him back.</p><p>‘’Try that again and you’re dead,’’ Chan spits out, fists clenched.</p><p>His dormmate seems startled for a second, perhaps by the fact he has been caught, but that soon vanishes and Chan has to block a fist flying to his face. He barely does and manages to land a punch in the guy’s face.</p><p>Chan isn’t a fighter, never has been - and doesn’t feel like it’s a good idea with Jisung right there - but it seems like he is at least better than fucking Dongmin. One punch seems to be enough to send the guy down and Chan spins around, pulls Jisung to his feet by his arms and drags him with him.</p><p>When they are in Chan’s room, he locks the door and lets go of Jisung.</p><p>‘’One second,’’</p><p>Chan grabs his bag and shoves some essential items in before turning back to Jisung and taking the boy’s hand again. He unlocks his door and throws it open, Dongmin hopping on one leg in the hallway as they rush passed him.</p><p>‘’Where do you think you’re going with <i>my</i> boyfriend?,’’ Dongmin screeches, fumbling with the sweatpants he’s trying to put on while touching his face right where Chan’s punch had landed. He looks ridiculous and Chan scoffs, ignoring his dormmate as he pulls Jisung with him to the front door.</p><p>‘’I’m talking to you!,’’ Dongmin bellows behind them and Chan pushes Jisung in front of him, gently telling the boy to get his shoes on. Jisung fortunately listens and Chan quickly follows.</p><p> </p><p>They are out of the door before Dongmin can even get somewhat close.</p><p> </p><p>The trip to Jisung’s dorm is a silent one – thank God the older knows where to go - and Chan is slightly worried about how quiet the younger is. When he glances at him, the boy is looking down. The only thing giving away his state is the tight grip he has on Chan’s hand and the latter decides not to say anything until they are out of the public eye. </p><p>They get there soon enough and Chan doesn’t waste any time knocking.</p><p>The door opens and he comes face-to-face with a boy he only knows of the pictures on Jisung’s Instagram, the dozens of freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks truly as pretty as Jisung always makes them out to be.</p><p>‘’Ehh, hello?,’’ </p><p>Chan ignores the boy for now and waltzes right in, dragging a very silent and pliant Jisung with him to the living room. All dorms have the same layout so it’s easy to find and he manages to get Jisung to sit down.</p><p>Felix follows quickly and as soon as Jisung spots him, the boy bursts out crying. Chan tries to ignore the slight pang in his chest when he gets shoved to the side by Felix before the boy plops down next to Jisung, wasting no time in pulling the boy in his arms.</p><p>Chan thinks Jisung looks smaller than ever, face tucked away in his best friend’s neck and almost curled up on his lap. </p><p>‘’Shhhhh Sungie,’’ Felix whispers, barely loud enough for Chan to hear, ‘’It’s okay. I got you,’’</p><p>Chan doesn’t know how much time passes but it feels like a lot when you are just standing there, watching one of the people you love most crying and not being able to do anything about it. </p><p>Felix looks up at him, fingers still gently carding through Jisung’s hair, ‘’I hate to ask this but I was actually about to go hand in an assignment and it really can’t wait any longer. Can you please stay until I get back? I’ll hurry up and try to be back in ten minutes. You can tell me what happened after,’’</p><p>‘’Of course,’’ Chan replies, already plopping himself down on the couch next to Jisung. The younger seems so out of it that he doesn’t protest as Felix manages to push him to Chan.</p><p>Jisung latches on easily, not once stopping his sobbing. Chan sees Felix hesitate before he gently pats Jisung’s head and promises to be back soon. </p><p>Then Felix is gone and Chan is left on his own to deal with Jisung. It’s easy enough though because all he has to do to get the boy to slowly calm down is hum and card his fingers through his hair, occasionally murmuring words of reassurance.</p><p>All in all, it doesn’t take long for Jisung to grow silent. The only sign that he hasn’t fallen asleep is the way he’s scratching a seem in Chan’s hoodie with his nail. </p><p>The older feels a weird mix of emotions as he sits there. He is somewhat happy despite the way he had avoided Jisung. There’s also a lingering anger towards Dongmin but that has always been there anyways. The way Jisung’s shivering has him worried and he drags the boy a bit closer by his waist.</p><p>And the most pressing feeling is the urge to pepper Jisung’s face with as many kisses as possible, kiss the tears away and hope to get him to smile or giggle. It’s so pressing that he indulges a little, turning his head a little and pressing a gentle peck to the boy’s hair somewhere close to his temple. </p><p>Jisung sighs long and he grows a bit more lax in Chan’s hold. A good sign, he guesses. </p><p>‘’I’m sorry,’’ Jisung whispers into his neck after the long silence, ‘’I’m s-so sorry. You were right,’’</p><p>Chan gives another peck and hums, ‘’That’s okay. I understand,’’</p><p>He doesn’t but he feels like now isn’t the right time to voice his frustrations about it. There is plenty of time for that later. And if there isn’t… well, he’ll just have to suck it up and accept that not all his questions will be answered. Another part of life.</p><p>‘’I’m sorry I didn’t believe you hyung,’’ Jisung continues, ‘’I was so stupid. Of course you wouldn’t lie to me,’’</p><p>Chan sighs again and closes his eyes, the boy still trembling in his arms, ‘’It’s okay Ji. I don’t blame you,’’</p><p>It’s not really okay but he can’t blame Jisung. He can’t blame the boy for getting swept in what he thinks is love. The human brain and heart work in ways that still leave a lot to understand so really, what can Chan do other than offer words of comfort.</p><p>He does, even if Jisung keeps apologizing over and over. <i>Especially</i> because Jisung keeps telling him how sorry he is and how stupid he has been.</p><p>It feels like hours later that Felix slips back into the apartment, Jisung staring blankly at one of the walls still in Chan’s lap. </p><p>‘’Sungie?,’’ Felix almost whispers as he kneels down in front of the boy, ‘’Did you eat anything yet? It’s already way past dinnertime,’’</p><p>Jisung merely shakes his head but it doesn’t seem like he wants to get up anytime soon because of making some kind of move to take Felix’s outstretched hand with the promise of food, nestling closer to Chan instead.</p><p>Felix tries some more but Jisung is as stubborn as a mule.</p><p>They end up watching national geographic in silence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan can finally relax when leans back against the wall in the kitchen, cold can of beer in his hand and the low hum of the fridge zooming on a rather pleasant frequency. He feels exhausted, significantly more than usual. It’s difficult to not fall asleep standing.</p><p>Felix’s right next to him but looks far from relaxed or sleepy. If anything, he looks on edge with his lip between his teeth and eyes set in worry. He understands but Jisung is sound asleep in his room and it would be okay to chill just a little. There isn’t anything they can do for Jisung right now so stressing about it isn’t going to do any of them any good.</p><p>Chan mentally scoffs because how many nights has he worried without being able to do anything about it in that moment?</p><p>Anyways, he kinda wants to tell the younger to take it easy but then he realises he has never even introduced himself. </p><p>‘’I’m Chan, by the way,’’ he speaks, taking another sip of his beer like that is going to wash down the awkwardness, ‘’I’m sorry for the rather rude entrance,’’</p><p>The freckled boy eases a tiny bit and smiles a little, obviously still strained by the not-so-nice circumstances, ‘’Felix. Nice to finally meet you. Jisung talks about you all the time. I feel like I have known you for ages,’’</p><p>It’s a comment that makes Chan feel warm and fuzzy because Jisung talks about him? All the time?</p><p>He lets it slide though. Perhaps for another time.</p><p>‘’I have to admit that I don’t know much about you except that story about how you ended up eating paint last year,’’ Chan replies, chuckling a little when Felix tenses and cusses Jisung out under his breath. </p><p>They laugh awkwardly for a little and then Felix turns to him again, seemingly a little more relaxed than before. There is another tired smile but it’s a smile nonetheless, one Chan gladly mirrors.</p><p>‘’Thanks. For being there, I mean,’’ Felix says, ‘’I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you weren’t there,’’</p><p>Chan doesn’t want to think about that either. The image of a split lip and bruises are still to fresh on his mind. Jisung looks a lot better but still, some things are difficult to cover up. So he taps his finger against the can and gives a quick rundown of what had happened a couple of hours prior, Felix sighing heavily once he’s done.</p><p>‘’I can’t believe he cheated on Jisung. I never liked the guy in the first place but after we found out he hooked up with this Jinho dude from accounting today… On top of everything… the guy should rot in hell,’’</p><p>‘’It was a heavy burden to bear,’’ Chan sighs, ‘’You have no idea how hard it was to see Dongmin bring other people over to fuck around with. And then ,’’</p><p>For some reason, the air shifts and he doesn’t have to look all that hard to see Felix’s expression change from somewhat relaxed to perplexed. Before he can question it, the expression changes to anger and Chan isn’t so sure he has said the right thing.</p><p> </p><p>‘’Wait, what? You knew?!,’’ Felix hisses, ‘’And it hasn’t happened just once?,’</p><p> </p><p>Well. Fuck?</p><p>Chan nods with a sigh and is about to rub his temples but he is stopped by a hand on his chest. A harsh push and his back meets the wall, Felix’s hand gripping his shirt tightly and keeping him there. Its unexpected because he doesn’t know Felix to get angry or look this intimidating, but what does he even know? This is the first time he met the guy.</p><p>‘’You fucking knew and never bothered to tell him?!,’’ The boy almost screams in his face, ‘’What kind of asshole are you? And to think Jisung spoke so highly of you. What the fuck man!,’’</p><p>Chan actually feels a little scared. The boy looks like he’s about to deck him in the face and if that were to happen, Chan wouldn’t be able to even do anything back. </p><p>‘’I tried to tell him a little while ago but he refused to believe me, okay? What else could I have done? And after that I was more concerned about his physical wellbeing so I didn’t try again,’’</p><p>Felix glares at him for a couple of very tense seconds, like he’s trying to peer into Chan’s soul to determine the validity of his words. Chan’s almost sure he’s gonna be dead meat because looking back he hadn’t tried all that hard. He hadn’t pressed the matter anymore after their initial fight, neither had he done anything to get Jisung away from Dongmin and whatever abuse that came with the guy.</p><p>Maybe he deserves to get his ass beat.</p><p>The longer he thinks about it, the more he thinks he does. </p><p> But then Felix lets go with a loud huff, gives him a rather soft punch in the chest and leans back against the wall.</p><p>‘’Well, better late than never I guess. At least now Sungie knows what an asshole Dongmin is. I was about to beat the guy up anyways for dropping Jisung off with fucking bruises again yesterday, which I still plan on doing but now I have another reason to break his nose,’’</p><p>There is another longs stretch of silence until Felix pushes himself away from the wall again.</p><p>‘’It’s already eleven, where will you be going?,’’</p><p>Chan shrugs. He hadn’t really thought about it.</p><p>‘’I don’t know. All I know is that I am not going back,’’</p><p>Felix lets out a sigh, ‘’You can sleep here. I’m not going to let Sungie wake up alone anyways so feel free to use my bed,’’</p><p>Normally Chan would politely decline because he doesn’t want to burden anyone but he is indeed very fucking tired and he thinks he won’t be able to stay upright that much longer. So with that he thanks the boy.</p><p>Felix nods and opens his mouth again but then there are soft footsteps coming closer to the tiny kitchen, Jisung suddenly peeking around the corner with a yawn and puffy eyes.</p><p>‘’Lixie?,’’ the boy mumbles, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>Felix is next to him in a second and grabs his hand, wishes Chan good night and coaxes Jisung with him out of the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan wakes up in the middle of the night to shaky breathing and soft sniffling. It’s disorienting but when he blinks awake he notices a trembling body atop of his and a wetness on his skin. His arms find their way around the boy’s waist almost on instinct and his hand travels up to Jisung’s head, gently raking his fingers through his hair.</p><p>For some reason it makes the sniffles turn into quiet sobs and Chan pulls the boy a bit closer.</p><p>He doesn’t know whether he is dreaming or not because he is pretty sure that he is in Felix’s bed and had fallen asleep alone, but the shaking of Jisung’s body feels too real for it to be.</p><p>‘’He’s a j-jerk and scary and I didn’t even really l-like him all that much in the first place,’’ Jisung hiccups, his grip on Chan’s sides almost painful, ‘’So why am I sad?,’’</p><p>Chan shushes the boy and pats his back with a gentle and steady hand, ‘’It’s okay. It’s okay to be sad,’’</p><p>Jisung lets out a whimper at that and clings harder.</p><p>A sick little part in Chan sings in joy that Jisung has sought him out and is clinging onto him but then he reels it back in because <i>not cool</i>.</p><p>It takes a lot of  but then Jisung’s crying has muddled down to the occasional sniffle.</p><p>‘’I’m so stupid,’’ the boy mumbles sadly, voice barely making it into Chan’s ears, ‘’I’m so fucking stupid. No wonder no one ever really likes me,’’</p><p>Chan’s heart aches at that and he shushes the boy, ‘’That’s not true. I like you, a lot,’’</p><p> ‘’That’s not what I mean,’’ Jisung replies with another sob, one sounding very exhausted. </p><p>Chan wonders if Jisung had fallen back asleep after Felix had taken him back to bed or if he had spend the last three hours awake and alone with his thoughts, somehow coming to the conclusion that no-one likes him.</p><p>Maybe it will end in heartbreak for Chan but right now he thinks it’s way more important to let Jisung know that he isn’t stupid and that there is at least one person in this world who would jump at the opportunity to show Jisung just how much they like him. </p><p>‘’I know what you meant,’’ Chan whispers, ‘’I like you, in the way you mean. So don’t say no-one ever likes you because I know I do so why wouldn’t someone else?,’’</p><p>It feels weird now that he has said it and he has to admit that his heart is beating a little to hard for comfort but this isn’t about him. This is about Jisung.</p><p>Said boy stills completely and for a second Chan thinks maybe it hadn’t been a good idea, that Jisung takes this as another thing to stress about while that hadn’t been the intention. But then the boy lets out a heavy sigh like a burden has just been lifted off his shoulders and snuggles a bit closer, if that is even possible.</p><p>‘’Don’t worry about it,’’ Chan mumbles into the boy’s ear, bringing one hand to run his fingers through Jisung’s hair, ‘’I do not expect anything from you. I just really wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t call yourself stupid or think that you are unlikable in any way. </p><p>The boy mutters a soft ‘thanks’ before burying his head even more into Chan’s neck. His lips ghost the older’s skin but Chan tries not to think about it.</p><p>‘’Go to sleep Ji. Tomorrow things will be a bit better,’’</p><p>The boy does and maybe Chan can’t resist placing a soft kiss on Jisung’s head before closing his eyes as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan doesn’t see or hear from Jisung for weeks and has no clue how the boy is doing except from the very irregular update from Felix. It’s never anything detailed but from what Chan has gathered, Jisung isn’t too sure about his break-up with Dongmin for the first couple of days, telling Felix how much he misses him.</p><p>He doesn’t get it, why the boy still can’t make up his mind after all Dongmin has done, but he knows Felix is on it together with a professional and that’s enough for now.</p><p>Obviously, Jisung doesn’t come over to their dorm and it takes only two days for Chan request for an emergency transfer to another dorm to get accepted. Technically his dorm looks the same, but it’s so different at the same time. He feels way more at ease and finds himself getting along really well with his new dormmate Robin. How could he not when the guy had ordered way too much food at the first night Chan moved in to celebrate?</p><p>With the moving he hasn’t seen Dongmin around either and he only hears the rumours about the guy drinking himself into a stupor almost every evening and going around campus picking people up, now more so now that he had gotten dumped by his boyfriend.</p><p>Chan guesses it’s nothing new but he feels less pissed about it now that Jisung finally isn’t dating the guy anymore. Felix tells him one day that Jisung is doing pretty good but that he doesn’t want to talk about what happened with Dongmin outside of therapy, always cutting Felix off with an <i>’’The past is in the past and you know I already have a more pressing matter to think about’’</i>.</p><p>Felix indeed seems to know what the boy means with that judging from the way he wiggles his brows when Felix and Chan find themselves accidentily meeting up at the café on campus. </p><p>Chan doesn’t pry though because he feels like he has been meddling enough with Jisung’s life as is, even though it had been highly necessary. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Weeks turn into months and Chan still gets no replies to his texts. They <i>do</i> get read so Chan makes sure not to ask too many questions and sends good morning whenever he wakes up and a good night when he tries to go to sleep. In between he tells what he is up to and throws in a funny story every now and then.</p><p>He doesn’t think it’s doing much and holding on is getting tiring. It’s really starting to take a toll on his already pathetic excuse of a sleep-schedule and his overall entry-level. </p><p>The constant doubt and uncertainty of ever seeing Jisung again is hard and he worries almost 24/7.</p><p>Chan is about to give up and accept that he will have to get over Jisung somehow but then his phone dings one night, indicating someone is still awake just like him. </p><p>It’s stupid but he gets his hopes up, only to get them crushed when he sees it’s Felix.</p><p><i>Incoming</i> is the only thing he says and Chan hums in confusion. Then he sees the boy typing again and he patiently waits.</p><p>
  <i>And make some tea. Strawberry flavour but you know that right?</i>
</p><p>Then Felix goes offline and Chan wonders if he has fallen asleep without noticing because the words don’t make sense. But then again, that’s highly unlikely. So he throws his phone to the side and focusses back on the tv. </p><p>He’s about half an episode in before he finds himself startling at rapid knocking on his door. For a second he wonders if the sleep deprivation has started to mess with his head but then it’s there again. </p><p>Chan pauses the episode he was watching and heaves himself off the couch, taking his glass with water with him and taking a sip before opening his door. He probably should’ve checked first because he’s alone – his new dormmate Robin is on a weekend camping trip – but he is tired and slightly cranky and isn’t all that upset by the idea of a serial killer knocking on his door.</p><p>It’s not a serial killer but he is more shocked to see Jisung standing there, absolutely drenched from head to toe. Chan’s heart skips a beat because how is it possible that Jisung has gotten only more beautiful over the last two months he hadn’t seen him? </p><p>His hair is now a generic black but it looks great and Chan can’t decide which colour he likes best on him. At this point he’s convinced Jisung can pull off any colour and still look terribly breath-taking. </p><p>Something about his whole demeanour has changed as well because he seems to stand a bit taller and the cheeks are a bit more filled out than before. He looks good, <i>happy</i>, and Chan is glad that the boy seems even livelier than he has ever seen him before.</p><p>That said, Chan expects an uncomfortable hi and he already dreads the awkwardness that will inevitably come from him withholding himself from kissing the boy.</p><p>There is a small smile and then the boy opens his mouth.</p><p>‘’I like you, a lot,’’ is the first thing Jisung says, breath coming out in pants as if he has been running, ‘’No wait, scrap that. I’m in love with you. I think I have always kinda been. Do you want to go on a date?,’’</p><p>Chan chokes on the sip of water he still hadn’t swallowed but the boy just blinks slowly. While Chan is trying not to drown he thinks he has never seen the boy be this relaxed and unfazed. Jisung is always moving in some way, whether it be fiddling with his fingers or bouncing his leg. <i>Anxious</i>.</p><p>But right now he looks like doesn’t have a single care in the world except wiping his dripping bangs out of his face.</p><p>‘’Now?,’’ Chan squeezes out when he finally has his breathing somewhat under control.</p><p>Smooth. What a great reply. Two months and that’s the first thing he says?</p><p>‘’No, it’s almost three AM hyung. Everything is closed,’’ Jisung deadpans before he suddenly smiles, ‘’Well, the karaoke place is still open. That was fun last time,’’</p><p>The implication settles quickly and Chan feels a rather baffled laugh bubble up from his chest. He doesn’t know why but it feels like a great relief, ‘’Were you always like this?,’’</p><p>Chan’s brain tells him no. No, Jisung was never like this. Never this forward, unfazed, genuinely confident… </p><p>Jisung merely shrugs and pushes his way inside, ‘’I don’t know. You tell me,’’ </p><p>Chan watches on as Jisung steps out of his vans and peels off his jacket. It’s rather surreal and his brain hasn’t quite caught up with the fact that Jisung is here and has just asked him out. Chan feels lowkey weirded-out.</p><p>‘’You could have waited until the morning,’’ He muses as Jisung almost trips while trying to get his wet socks off, ‘’Or at least taken an umbrella with you,’’</p><p>‘’Who cares?,’’ Jisung huffs back, ‘’I had more important things to do. A little water isn’t going to kill me,’’</p><p>Chan laughs and kinda wants to say that <i>he</i> cares but Jisung is already gone.</p><p>‘’Still, go take a shower before you freeze,’’ the older comments as he walks passed Jisung and to the kitchen.</p><p>Jisung comes waddling in after him and low and behold, the boy’s teeth a clattering and he sends Chan a sheepish little smile.</p><p>‘’What a smart idea,’’ the younger comments, ‘’Smart boy Chan,’’</p><p>‘’I have this one friend I think you’d get along with very well,’’ Chan snorts, ‘’Anyways, go shower. Feel free to steal some clothes,’’</p><p>Jisung nods with a grin, and turns on his heel to almost skip out of the kitchen. A tiny trail of water follows but Chan can’t find himself to be upset about it. It’s just water anyways.</p><p> ‘’Also, what do you want to drink? I can make you a hot coco, coffee-,’’</p><p>‘’Tea, thank you!,’’ Jisung yells back from somewhere, ‘’You know my favourite,’’</p><p>Chan hums as he flicks on the water cooker</p><p>‘’Strawberry,’’ he mumbles to himself and then he chuckles, Felix’s texts falling into place.</p><p> </p><p>After Jisung is all warmed up and sipping his tea on the couch, they try to focus on the rest of that episode Chan was watching with little success. Half of the time Jisung is poking Chan’s arm just for the heck of it and Chan retaliates </p><p>They don’t talk about why Jisung had come here in the first place or how to proceed.</p><p>That can wait for tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>Oh and Chan was right.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung looks way better in that huge pastel yellow hoodie than those stupid green jerseys.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan is in his fourth year of college and like many others, has a dormmate.</p><p>One who sucks at cleaning up after himself but actually tries when Chan asks, one who just <i>has</i> to have sixty percent milk and forty percent honey loops cereal, one who steals Chan’s cologne whenever he feels like it because he likes how the smell reminds him of the older, one who maybe texts a little too often to ask Chan where he is and who he’s with. Sometimes it gets on Chan’s nerves but he understands and the boy is still working on it.</p><p>And most importantly, one with a rather handsome and dashing boyfriend, if he may say so himself.</p><p>The walls are far from soundproof and that means he can hear the boy singing in the shower all the way down in the kitchen where Chan is smiling to himself as he flips the egg.<br/>
How they’ve upgraded from cereal to actual breakfast is a mystery to Chan but his best guess is that they don’t really have to walk on eggshells and fear making a lot of noise in the morning. Perks of having a dorm together he guesses.</p><p>Fortunately, It had required little effort to make it happen - <i>’’We don’t really care. If you want to pair up we can fix that. Easier for us,’’</i> - and it made things way easier. </p><p>Over the summer they had gotten used to being around each other almost 24/7 and at some point it had gotten to the point where Robin parttime lived with Felix.</p><p>Maybe they are moving a bit fast but so far everything is great. There have the occasional little arguments but nothing unsolvable.</p><p>Right when Chan is about to call Jisung and tell him breakfast is done, the younger comes padding into the kitchen with a shy little smile but doesn’t hesitate launching himself at the older.</p><p>Chan catches him easily and laughs, pressing a quick kiss to the boy’s lips.</p><p>‘’Morning little squirrel,’’ he muses, ‘’Did you sleep well?,’’</p><p>Jisung huffs in fake annoyance and mumbles something under his breath before burying his head in the crook of Chan’s neck, lips ghosting skin and legs tightening around the older’s waist. It’s easy to understand the boy is still sleepy despite the shower and Chan mentally coos.</p><p>The boy has turned out the be quite the affectionate little thing, often asking – or not even that – for cuddles or kisses. Chan can live with that because he’s just as bad, if not more, around the younger.</p><p>Anyways, it doesn’t come as a surprise when Jisung swallows the last bite a handful of minutes after Chan had dumped the boy in a chair and shoved breakfast at him and immediately pouts, pointing at his own lips to get his point across. </p><p>Chan just stares at him for a little and pretends he doesn’t understand just because he can.</p><p>Like expected, Jisung’s pout grows worse and his brows furrow. The pointing turns into jabbing that slowly turns more and more aggressive, accompanied by a muted whine.</p><p>The older still doesn’t budge.</p><p>But then Jisung stops and frowns even more as he almost springs up, the chair scraping against the floor in a way that makes Chan’s brain want to shrivel up. He doesn’t get to think about it a whole lot because Jisung nimbly rounds the table, somehow manages to climb in Chan’s lap without knocking anything off the table and cups Chan’s cheeks before pulling him closer.</p><p>It’s a short little peck much like Chan had given earlier but Jisung looks incredibly satisfied anyways when he backs up.</p><p>Chan is a little speechless but his hands find their way to the boy’s hips nonetheless.</p><p>‘’You’re mean,’’ Jisung huffs, his voice lacking any real bite.</p><p>‘’And that was pretty hot,’’ Chan blurts out with a laugh.</p><p>Needless to say, Jisung flushes and scrambles away, squeaking something about getting ready for school and leaving Chan to cackle on his own in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>And maybe it takes a whole hours for Jisung to be able to look Chan in the eye again but the older doesn’t tease him about it and walks him to his lecture instead. </p><p>However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take his sweet time peppering Jisung’s face with kisses right in front of fucking everyone.</p><p>‘’Okay okay! Stop it,’’ Jisung squeals with a giggle, pushing Chan away, ‘’Lemme go, I got a lecture to attend so go! See you later, love you,’’</p><p>Jisung slips inside and Chan watches for a second as the boy rushes over to Felix already sitting somewhere. The two have beaming smiles and soon seem to be caught up in a heated conversation, laughing so loudly that Chan can hear them all the way from where he’s standing.</p><p>At some point he has to get going but Jisung spots him right before he turns around and throws him a little hand kiss and waves.</p><p>Chan finds his cheeks hurting from how much he’s smiling as he finally turns away. Perhaps he looks like an idiot as he walks to his own class but he thinks he can live with that.</p><p>As long as he has Jisung.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh, the only thing I wanted to say that I'll obviously be removing you-know-who from my stories but I have to figure out how I'm gonna do that so gimme time okay?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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